A few weeks ago we talked about invitations, picking the perfect piece of paper that will invite you guest to your fairytale day. What an important piece of paper that is. So much pressure on a little, beautiful piece of paper. While picking out invitations it accidently became a moment of realization, the financial investment thus far in our wedding. Not to say I had a breakdown, but I was close. After the breakdown, I got back on my wedding horse with a fresh set of eyes.
For you Brides who did not do save the dates, now is when the guest list can get really real. This includes, the sometimes uncomfortable, conversations about plus ones. This week is all about “Making the list” how to determine plus ones, how to make the cuts you need and who you need to invite.
This subject can be tricky, it can be awkward to tell your uncle he can’t bring his new Girlfriend to your wedding, whatever the case may be. While making our guest list we listed all our friends, some of our friends we know as a couple so that’s an easy one. Then we went through all the unmarried people, asking along the way “Are they engaged?” “How long have they been dating?” “Have we ever hung out with them as a couple?” If we started to see that it was “No” “Less then a year” and “No” it became easy to make the cut. While you may love your sorority sister who’s two years younger than you, you don’t have to love the guy she just started dating. Save the random plus ones for good friends, best friends and maybe your immediate families significant other. Handing out plus ones can drive up the bill and guest count so quickly! Your party of 80 suddenly went to 120 by giving 40 people a plus one.
How to cut the list:
Guest lists become very real when money is attached to each person. Not only as it relates to dinner and their drinks but other factors that will increase include: your wedding cake, invitations, favors, and some venues will charge based on the number of people you plan to attend. So with that in mind, it is okay to be very picky about who you invite. The first place I looked for people to trim was plus ones, old friends who would never know I got married other then seeing it on Facebook, people from work, and distant family.
Who Needs to be there:
A lot of the time, Brides and Grooms are pressured into inviting people based on who their parents say need to be invited. In truth there are only so many people your parents can force you to invite. If you see this starting to happen, a conversation with your parents need to be had. You will be surprised how quickly the guest list is taken up by families. Each person is not just one, your aunt is actually plus 5 because of her kids and husband, not a bad thing! I can easily say that I was shocked Jacob and I reached 150 so easily.
There is a fine line in every part of wedding planning, the guest list is no exception. The line being between being happy and generous with your wedding invites and being so stingy that if 15 people couldn’t make it, there is a noticeable difference in attendance.
So best wishes to you all with the tough cuts. Cheers to the special people make the list to your one of a kind day!