Picking the ladies who stand beside you on the day of your wedding is a huge process. Not only are these people so important that they are sharing the stage with you on your wedding, but you are relying on them to make the commitment and sacrifices for you. Anyone who has been in a wedding party before knows just how much can go into being a Bridesmaid. Shoes, hair, make up, the dress, the trips and plans, numerous weekends dedicated to the Bride and the happy couple. It is important to select people who not only can hold up their end of the bargain by accepting the job, but also people who are excited for you and love you! Typically the engagement process is around 8-12 months. Pick people who won’t be a buzz kill by the third wedding related event.
I am lucky and have known who my Maid of Honor was going to be since she was born, my little sister Emily.
The first few days/weeks after selecting your tribe, everyone is either excited or overwhelmed from the start. They are talking about things that are months away, cost lots of money potentially and will require a good bit of time. You can see how plans like that make people feel one way or another.
Over the next few months, you will start to see the roles that your tribe falls into. There is a quiet one who has no problem whether the dress is gold or silver, what time we meet does not matter she will be there and is agreeable to anything the bride says. Also, she is excited for you but not like over the top about it. #appreciated
There will be, at least one opinionated one, does not love the style shoe the bride has suggested, would rather meet here and not there, but will also tell you to your face that that lipstick is not great on you and shouldn’t be the color for your wedding day. Like it or not, the brutal honesty is required. #needed
There will be the girl that is so excited for you, sending photos of T shirt options for the Bachelorette party, commenting on photos with kind words and constantly tells you how excited she is for you! A great reminder for how excited you are, despite all the details planning and decisions to be made. #hypegirl
Then there is the realist. Organized, like you, but really taken charge where she is needed. (typically this should be your MoH) She is very detailed oriented and ready to plan an amazing bachelorette party for you, coordinate your shower, communicate with the other girls as needed and is totally aware that most of your conversations over the next 10 months are going to be wedding related. #HBIC
For me, there are 4 ladies who will share my stage and that is plenty. I have always found that when it comes to friends, quality is better than quantity, which made selecting this beautiful ladies easy. We are 6 months in and I have become so thankful for my Tribe! They have all served a different role in their own way. Let’s face it, no one person wants to hear and answer every single question about the wedding for a whole year. So split up your questions and divide amongst the tribe for different answers. Talk to your fashion-loving girl about your makeup, jewelry for dresses, show options things she will be into! Ask the practical one for her opinion on timing and when would be best for the shower for everyone. Turn to your maid of honor for clarity and help, when you are in too deep she is the one who can pull you out of flower hell for a minute and talk about the fun stuff, like your bachelorette party theme.
This wonderful group of ladies would not be complete without the ultimate sounding board, your Mom.
She is a prime member of the Tribe in a different way then the other girls. Look to your mom for financial advice, traditions, suggestions for the reception that cater to other guests rather than just the young crowd. Your Mom’s advice can rub you the wrong way, let me warn you. At the end of the day though it helps to have those kinds of opinions and help! #theOG
I say it often and I will say it again, life does not stop to plan a wedding. So whether you are going this alone without a wedding planner or have so many people involved you can’t remember their names, you will always have your Tribe.
If even your tribe is tired of hearing about your wedding problems, give me a call. I would love to hear all about it and let you know how The Dirty Blonde Stylist can help.