Coming to the realization that the holidays are over is a daunting thought to many festive folk, for me however it has given me nothing but less distractions for bettering me. I always used to get this way when I was going back to school for spring semester, recharged and ready to take campus by storm. All the new clothes I bought with my Christmas money, a new planner and a new outlook on working out. The New Year is always filled with optimism, even for the most cynical people. I have never been one for cynicism and new chance just amps my optimism way up. The sad reality is that I am not in school anymore and keeping my style and togetherness on point is a little more difficult.
I cant lie, since I have been home from school and graduated I have fallen into a bit of a rut. And not for nothing, I have been through quite a bit in the last few months. Through all pain I believe you find strength, that’s what I’m doing now, just capitalizing on it. Every year I look back on the list of my resolutions to see what I kept and what was lost within the first two weeks. I was surprised to notice how vague my resolutions were for 2015 and I began to wonder if I was more specific then would I be more likely to carry them out? So “make yourself better” in 2015 is equal to “get off your ass and get to the gym so you can be healthy and lose 15 pounds” in 2016. Someone told me that once you start half assing the little things eventually you are half assing everything in life and hearing that made me realize that’s how I have been living these last few months. I know that in 2016 there are no quick fixes that will make me happy, they are called a quick fix for a reason. For example being sad can no longer be fixed by a martin’s cupcake or a shopping spree at H&M clearance section. Because like always, next week that will be more pounds making you cry when your jeans don’t fit and another top to go out of season hanging in my closet. I am ready for something to last, granted that will take time; for that person, that body, that house and that job, but in the end I will be happy longer and finally have that accomplished feeling I have been yearning for.
I am patiently waiting to see who I will become in 2016, I am hoping some of the old me comes back; the strong, organized, hardworking and happy person I was. So come at me 2016, let’s see where this goes.